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Worked out & rocked a boat load of hair this week. Came home last nite for a luxurious soak in the tub & fell asleep early reading a smashingly great book! Shannon Wing, so this is what a well rested sober 6 am looks like...not too shabby! Think I start a new blog ;)

(Fri Apr 20, 9:53 am).

RAPE

The first time I was taught shame of my body I was 7. In the blazing heat of small town tedious life the friend crew hit our expansive back yard for a game of Wiffle ball. Per usual it was shirts vs skins. Melting in the sun I shouted ‘team skins!’ & ripped my shirt off.
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SOA from a TV hater I love those boys!

[View the story “Sons of Anarchy generates buzz amongst Lansing biker fans” on Storify]

Swimming single in a drug infested tank of sharks!

‘Whores’ get paid for sex. ‘Addicts’ use bath salts, heroin, crack & meth. The two run together like diesel fuel & wild fires. I prefer the terms adventurous, experimental & FUN to describe myself. Having done vast field work in the arena of partying, relationships & living single life to it’s fullest I’m totally comfortable sharing what’s up with both these newsworthy topics & to clear the air on your misconceptions.
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Wrecks & Effects Summertime Concert Season of Love & Life

Born self sufficient & raised in a strict, religious, militant household armed me with a type A personality. Was it genetics or upbringing? Meh, who cares. Just know I handle my business like a bank manager. Shit get’s done when Dr. Shay’s around! But not as well or timely as it used to & like a delinquent teen I frequently skip out on ‘class’ to play.
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Aunty Shay’s Lake Haus Summer Camp!

I have seven Aunts & am closer to some than others. They all had a fantabulous impact on my childhood & in one way or another helped shape who I am today. I love them all very much! I’m sorry other six Aunty’s but Aunt Linda is my most super fave! I spent weeks
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Miss Manson’s Manners concerning social networking, cell phones & the after par-tay!

Social networking sites & technology has advanced so rapidly our personal etiquette has not kept pace. Although my manners haven’t been one hundred percent in these matters doesn’t mean I’m not regular agitated
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Dr. Shay Nation’s Dating Navigation Rules for the Road

Broken, lonely, angry, sullen hearts all around…cheers! People spend so much time & energy searching, hunting & maintaining relationships they’re exhausted. Thankfully they’re not so whipped shit they can’t come out for fun cocktail bitch sessions with me…squee!
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Olivia Whitman 9 year old author extraordinaire!

My 9 year old client Olivia Whitman wrote & published a hilarious book after surviving brain cancer in 2011. She is a ray of sunshine I look forward to seeing every time we work together to grow her hair back into a stunning mane of golden locks. She wrote poetry, laughter & 9 yr old words of wisdom on every page but this was my fave! 
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Eddie Lahti’s big ‘C’..the bad kind, not the one that rhymes with shunt.

My friend Eddie Lahti, 34 years old, was diagnosed with neuroendocrine & colon cancer January 6th, 2012. He calls it his ‘twinsies’ problem. I met with him at Moriarty’s pub to have a chat about what it’s like to have cancer so young & how he’s dealing with the crap shoot shenanigans life handed him.
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Zombie Apocalypse training? Pfft….I just want a toilet!

My existence has always been a ball of chaos, most of it self induced fun! I subscribe to the ‘have less’ so you can rock a three day work week, travel, socialize & concert as often as possible life. It makes my soul dance a fancy disco jig! The less you have the less you’re forced to maintain & pay for.
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Thank you for smoking…hope you choke on it!

I smoked my first cigarette when I was 12 years old behind Edru’s roller skating rink. In the 7th grade & rockin the 5’10 I am now the crew elected me to purchase the pack we could share. In 1984 ‘the man’ wasn’t militant as ‘he’ presently is so snaggin the Marlboro’s were no prob.
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Dr. Shay’s ‘script for the ‘lonely good guy!’

Here’s what I witness regularly at 1 am when I’m out & about with my chica’s on any given nite. Her leaving the pub with a loud mouthed, cruddy job havin douche bag. Said creeper walks out with my friend, proudly on his arm, thrilled he’s about to get some from a diva. The girls & I spend vast amounts of time & energy talking about, scheming, & dreaming of dating a ‘nice’ boy.
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SUPER FABULOUS!

When asked how I am my answer is always the same rain or shine. “I’M SUPER FABULOUS!!!!” Sealed with a glittery eye wink. Fun people respond with a high five & me too! However I frequently hear responses like, ‘I’m wish I was fabulous. You’re always having fun. My life sucks. If only I didn’t have so many
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GI James heading to war again

My brother James is currently heading to Afghanistan for his third, year long tour of duty as an Army Reservist. Keeping the home fires burning, with a yellow ribbon around their oak tree, are his 3rd wife Michelle & their four children ages 10-13. He married his first wife twice who was a total nut job & shitty mom. After that divorce he married a stripper he also later divorced.
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Yearly ‘fit for duty’ vajayjay check…

After 2011’s horrifying yearly pap & pelvic exam I thought ahead this year to find a gynecologist office that accepted my insurance & wasn’t located in the department of social services. I made the appointment three months ago but in spite of my planning I could only get in at the ass crack of dawn.


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The twelve weeks of freezing death in Michigan!

Drunk again in the ‘D’! Or the ‘L’ or the ‘G’! It’s Old Man Winter’s ‘reowrr fft fffft’ period in January in Lansing, mutha crushin, Michigan. We rock Common Ground, most lakes of any state & a U.P. that’ll make you fall in love with nature but come January shit get’s rough. Hard core grizzly bear ate your dog style. January-March ain’t no joke in Michigan.
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Karma?

Several years back we hired a new nail tech. Three days into her co-employment with me I grew anxious of her eyeballing yours truly.
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W.W.A.D. (What would Ali do?)

I joined an all woman’s gym years ago because I was tired of being hit on when I worked out. I wanted to go sweat my ass off in comfortable clothing not caring how I looked without being bothered by perverts. Unfortunately an all female work out facility has its own issues….mostly how shitty we all treat each other.
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Resolutioner’s can suck it!

Without fail every single day of my life I wake up on the wrong side of the bed horrified at something I said or did the day before. Morning’s are NOT MY FRIEND!
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Discover home port & meet prince charming while avoiding douchers & the heroin hole!

New to Lansing? Just turned 21? Ms. Manson’s welcome committee is here to make your transition to the area or introduction to pub life smooth, painless & disease free!
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Better bangs for your bucks!

Life in ruins? Husband dead or disappeared with all your joint money? Figuring out how to survive on just your wages alone? Kids rolled out as they’re sick of your bullshit? Drinkin a wee too much to purchase all the high end fab things you’re used to? Courtney Love pulled it together for a while & so can you!


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Health Department earns an F!

Shay Nation Went to the woman’s clinic at the health department today for a check up at 9 freakin am not to pleased I had to cut Thirsty Thursday short last nite to get some rest. Walked into building 3 as instructed and asked where the woman’s clinic was.
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Wanna play doctor?

Besides a few single minutes here and there I’ve had a boyfriend of some variety since kindergarten and for 8 yrs. in my past a husband. Looking back over the years I realize they’ve all provided something I needed or appreciated at the time.
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The grass is always greener….but really it’s just mexican dirt weed.

I’ve done hair for 22 years in the Lansing area, been (am) a socialite, & served on a million committees & boards. What this means is I come into contact with a shit ton of women & as women we talk…A- FUCKING-LOT. What is it we talk about? Men, sex, men, money, men, weight, & did I mention men? Regardless of a woman’s relationship status there is ALWAYS bitching about the man in her life, the only exception being the first 60 days of a new relationship.

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Only the good die young.

A girl friend of mine checked out this week (April 24th, 2010). She couldn’t take it anymore & killed herself. I haven’t seen her in a while but used to run with her when we were training for marathons back before foot injuries did me in.
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Tattoo’d running down the back of my right leg

Tattoo’d running down the back of my left leg.

Miss Manson’s Rants

The older I get the less tolerant I am. Less tolerant of bullshit, societal standards, expectations, etc. I’ve lost so many friends to death and what I get out of that is every single second counts in life.
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judge not lest ye be judged aka pre-reunion thoughts…

I’ve gotten numerous messages asking if I was attending this weekend’s 20 yr high school reunion. People have said they would come if I was. Some are concerned what people will think about their life or waist line.
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FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

1. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.5. Alcohol
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